I’m Back Boys and Girls

Had some free time, extended study table hours (due to degenerate lifestyle choices last semester). So let me catch you guys up to whats going on in my life so we can get the dip going at the right pace again.

-I got a euro-cut, don’t know why just did cause I was feeling it.

Screen Shot 2014-11-17 at 2.35.20 PM

-Sneaky lost about 25 pounds on the Lean Cuisine diet™

-Was an app mogul until I got bored of it after 3 weeks RIP ZONDR

But ya that’s where I’m at. Probably pretty good place in my life. Time to just start pounding out blog posts during study hours.

You Should Wear Sweatpants Because Harvard Says So

WallStreet Journal 

In their first study, they asked shop assistants and pedestrians in Milan to rate what they thought of people who walked into luxury stores wearing gym clothes. The subjects also rated those who wore outfits typically considered more appropriate, like a dress and fur coat.

Pedestrians were more likely to think that a well-dressed individual was more likely to have the money to buy something in the store. Shop assistants thought the opposite. Those more familiar with the luxury retail environment were more likely to assume that a gym-clothes-wearing client was confident enough to not need to dress up more, and therefore more apt to be a celebrity making a purchase than someone wrapped in fur.

People who tend toward the offbeat themselves show extra fondness for freethinking behavior in others. Francesca Gino, an associate business administration professor at Harvard Business School and an author on the paper, decided to test the theory outside the lab as well. She wore red Converse sneakers to teach a one-day event on small business management education. Dr. Gino found that those who identified themselves on a questionnaire as having a higher need to be unique were more likely to give her higher ratings than those who didn’t.

“They inferred, ‘She’s so autonomous, she must do whatever she wants,’ ” Ms. Bellezza says.

I don’t know guys Chuck told me to wear a groutfit and I’m just not sure about it. Well guess what now Harvard wants some of the sweatpants game but they just are a little far behind me in the groutfit game. Once again I wear my groutfit to class because I don’t need your fancy jeans or nice coats to show off my social worth. Groutfits just mean your a guy/girl trying to be comfortable. Also, how about the fancy retail stores saying they thing people dressing in sweatpants are more wealthy. Definitely just going shopping in groutfits for now on Rick Rossin Kenny Powers Style.

The Best Questions From Ask Me Anything

So I did a little Ask Me Anything today and got some pretty good questions. Here are what I thought were the best of the best.




Honestly, if I got laid off of this blog I feel like a lot more dudes would be trying to write blogs. Blog life= Pimp Life



The age old question boobs or butt? Well I’m different. 1.) Cute Face 2.) Boobs 3.) Butt



Either scenario would be extremely bad.



Could you imagine getting done with sex and just foghorning the whole apartment complex. Assert your dominance. Low key but not really low key letting people know your getting laid. 



Literally might be the stupidest question ever.



There is a video……



Like I hope this wasn’t a serious question. If it is try these two things 1.) courage and 2.) confidence 



No homo




Locking the ole doors tonight. 





but thanks to everyone who asked questions. Definitely going to utilize this a lot more. 



Girls, You Can’t All Be Models

This has been bothering me for awhile. I go on Facebook just out of pure boredom because I’ve already checked my twitter feed about ten times. But between the Buzzfeed articles being shared and the elite daily articles that are somehow suppose to motivate me to become a millionaire, there is one thing that gets me going: Girls who have “modeling” picture albums. Official rant starting now: this doesn’t happen every once in awhile, this is a god damn epidemic of annoying pictures. And don’t try to be modest and say “oh I was helping out my friend who is trying to become a photographer”BS (i’m trying to swear less because apparently my mom reads the blog now and doesn’t approve of my foul mouth, so that’s a thing). It’s literally just a low-key cat fight on Facebook to see who can have the hottest pictures and it’s sad. I want your worst pictures up on Facebook. Don’t get all super attractive on me and then take even hotter pictures. That’s just teasing me and it’s not fair. 


Ps: I broke down and decided to get in the modeling game



How Did That Get There: Songs That Get Stuck In Your Head


Have you ever realized that you have a song stuck in your head and thought to yourself “Gee, how did that get there?”

Recently, in effort to control my AD/HD—Inattentive type, whenever I catch myself on a tangent or unfocused thought, I try to trace its origin. I’ve noticed that there are a few songs that consistently pop into my head:

“Shoes”  Liam Kyle Sullivan (As in the YouTube video “Shoes…. Oh my god shoes”)

“Shoes,” is probably the most annoying of the songs that get stuck in my head, and somehow it manages to weasel its way into my thoughts daily. After analyzing how in the world I begin singing this song on my head, I have found three triggers.

1. I work at a shoe store back home

2. When I’m looking for or putting on my shoes

This next one is maybe the most surprising and took me quite awhile to understand.

3. Whenever I take my shirt off to change and I see my boobs, in my head I change the lyrics of the song to “Boobs. Oh my god! Boobs.” Which then turns into “shoes. Oh my god! Shoes,” as the day progresses and I ask “Wait a second… Why am I singing this PG-13 rated version?”

“ASS” Big Sean

This song pops up in my head right after I do my laundry. When I put on a pair of jeans, fresh from the dryer, I have to do the pants dance—once of my favorite dances—and I always start singing “Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass,” voice change “Ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass, ass—STOP! Now, make that mother f**** hammer time like WOAH!”

Regardless of my lanky white girl physique, that song really makes the pants dance that much better, but I’ll tell ya, having it stuck in your head and just thinking “Ass ,ass, ass, ass, ass,” all the time can get exhausting.

 “What’s Going On?” Marvin Gaye

This 70’s hit always creeps in when I’m in class OR when I’m in disarray and theres clothes strewn all over my room and I can’t find anything OR when I’m at a bar or party and I pause to look around and take everything in and I have to ask myself “Really, what’s going on?”

I can’t be alone in this. Other people out there have to have the staple songs that get stuck in their head too, right????

marvin gaye

The 8 Most Awkward Places To Make Out On Campus


So everyones had “that night” where they get a little too crazy and starts to think that PDA is cool. That was like my whole first semester. I thought making out with anybody, anywhere was just the norm in college. Well, I think everyone has learned their lesson since then, but it still happens to the best of us. So if your going to make out here are my top 8 places to not get caught sucking face:


8.) Actually Sitting At The Bar- So at this point in your career you are probably already old enough to be sitting at the bar and not have to worry about grandpas with baseball hats on coming up to you for your ID. The issue is everyone else sitting at the bar is too and they can clearly see you exchanging tongue with the “love of your life*” (*the girl you met five minutes ago and bought a drink for so now you guys are definitely in a functional relationship). The key to a stealth makeout at the bar is to have people blocking your existence. Get it together people.


7.) At Afters- So this is an actual functioning afters with more than 2 people because everybody knows a two person afters usually just ends up with people hooking up. So you and the girl you bring back want to be the trendsetters and start making out in front of everyone. Well guess what? You just made it straight up awkward for everyone. Now if i’m sitting there I feel as if I have to make a move and as my friend Brian Kost would say “We have a stage 5 debacle”.


6.) Wherever There Are People With Camera Phones Around- My friend/faceguy/lulu lemon model Luke (pictured above) has a certain skill for taking selfies with dumbass freshman making out at the bar. Please don’t be featured in Luke’s next instagram post or you will pay the price.


5.) Red Lion Dance Floor Against Back Wall- They should basically just put a neon sign on the wall back there saying PervZone™. It is hot, sweaty and honey you are just coming off as desperate.


4.) Joes “Back Room”- Smoke machines, lasers= Romantic environment. I feel like if you polled most of the guys that go back their consistently asking them “What is your favorite movie?” the top answer would be “Silence Of The Lambs”.

                4a.) Joe’s Stripper Poles- this is the particular spot you want to stay away from. I’m guessing you have one of these names     if  you are hanging here consistently.

3.)  At A Drunk Food Establishment (Winging Out, Fat Sandwich, ETC.)- Yeah I’ll take a pound of wings with a side of swapping spit. Please don’t do do this. It’s tacky and I hate you. (Yeah I just quoted School Of Rock)

2.) At A Pregame- All your friends are there, you are going to be judged and you look like a fool who can’t handle his liquor or testesterone. Although it is actually impressive if you can pull off a make out within 5 minutes of meeting someone. Kudos to you, weirdo.

1.) Any Time The Sun Is Out- Don’t be that couple that starts making out in front of me on the quad. Do you know what that does to my stomach after a long night out on the town? Nobody likes you and your consistent need to show your affection. GTFO.

Bonus Makeout pic: Image

This is my friend Kevin. Analysis: Good use of the clear window, Hand positioning: getting there, Intensity: NSFJ (Not Safe For Joe’s), Work Ethic: determined.